There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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