I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
