Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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