wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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