I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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