hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
