Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
