Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
