my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
