If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
