My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
