i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
