After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
