He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize