I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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