this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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