Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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