I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
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me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We talked him into tasing himself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
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He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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