those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
