But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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