we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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