Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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