her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
