I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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