If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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