i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
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Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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