I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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