You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
