On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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