Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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