He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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