We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
