i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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