You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again