after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sex on roller skates
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.