my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I need a beard to bite.