dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He kissed a someone with a penis
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.