This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
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Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her