You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
