she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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