butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
