but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
