There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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