Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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