and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
COCAINE IS GR8
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
