Pants 0. Shit 1.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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