i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
