I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
