Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
