remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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