I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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