I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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