I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
