she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
