I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
