Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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