i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
