dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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