He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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