i was rollin on her like bob the builder
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
