jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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