I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize