He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
