would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
