I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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